Breaking Up Amicably When You Live Together Can be Tough

Not every romantic relationship is destined to achieve “happily ever after.” Perhaps one person has cheated on the other, or they are treating the other poorly, or outright ignoring their partner. In other instances, the “spark” that made the relationship exciting is no longer there. Whatever the reason, one, or both, people in the relationship have decided to end it. Breaking up amicably is ideal but doesn’t always happen.

While breaking up can be tough for some couples, it is especially tough for couples that have been living together for an extended period of time. Breaking up amicably may be difficult to achieve. The person being dumped can feel especially hurt and betrayed by the situation. These feelings could escalate and potentially turn towards anger or even domestic violence. To avoid open resentment and a potentially dangerous situation, try implementing some of the following tips.

Positive Steps for Breaking up Amicably with a Live-in Partner

1. End the Relationship in Person

Taking the time to physically be present when you break up with a live-in partner is essential. It shows that the relationship was important.  If a breakup happens over the phone, or through text, this can create confusion and extreme hurt. This could also lead to a very unpleasant situation when it is time for one person to gather their belongings and move out.

2. Be Honest About Feelings and Clear About the Reasons for the Breakup

Being honest can be difficult when breaking up amicably with a live-in partner, but it is necessary. Explain why the breakup is happening and be clear about the reasons. Avoid blaming the person that is being dumped but let them know how the relationship was unfulfilling. Don’t be vague. Be specific. This will help keep confusion to a minimum.

3. Listen to the Other Person

The person being dumped will, understandably, be very upset about what is happening, especially if they have no idea how the other person has been feeling. Be sure to give them an open forum to vent their anger and answer any questions as honestly as possible. It is also a good idea to let them know how the relationship, or lack of relationship, will be upheld moving forward.

Things to Avoid When Breaking Up with a Live-in Partner

1. Avoid Breaking Up in Public

Emotions will run high when it is time to break up with someone. Doing it in public will not keep them from getting upset or freaking out. They deserve to be upset and breaking up with them at home will give them the opportunity to experience an honest emotional reaction without embarrassing themselves or anyone else.

2. Don’t Offer False Hope

If the relationship is to end amicably, don’t leave the door open for a possible reconciliation. When a relationship needs to end, it is better not to be left open-ended. Don’t attempt to be their friend after the fact. Don’t try to make them feel better, and never engage in breakup sex. Any of these could leave a person confused about the breakup which could lead to anger and potentially domestic violence.

3. Don’t Devalue the Other Person

Up until this point, the relationship has been important to everyone involved. It’s important to show appreciation and highlight the good qualities of the person being dumped. Pointing out that they are funny, kind, or honest can help soften the emotions associated with the breakup.

Jesse Kalter Law is Ready to Help in the Event the Situation Turns to Domestic Violence

 Not every breakup is amicable or goes according to plan. Tempers flare and people can make mistakes. Nobody plans for domestic violence, but if it has occurred, it is highly recommended to seek out an experienced domestic violence lawyer. Jesse Kalter Law has represented countless people charged with domestic violence. Their tenacious pursuit of justice has earned several “not-guilty” verdicts or had cases thrown out completely. They are available to serve the people of Reno, Sparks, Carson City, Fallon, Fernley, Dayton, Yerington, Douglas County, and all other Northern NV rural counties.

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